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Adam, 18, Warrington Music, Literature, Film, My Bloody Valentine, Thom Yorke, David Lynch, Radiohead, Woody Allen, The Horrors, Elliott Smith, The Cure, Pulp, Jarvis Cocker, Jeff Buckley, The Smiths, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Neil Young, Morrissey, Joy Division, Bauhaus, T.S Elliott, Oscar Wilde, John Wilmot, Thomas Hardy, William Blake, Villagers, Audrey Horne, Nick Drake, Willy Mason, The National, Bright Eyes, Conor O'Berst, Conor O'Brien, Neutral Milk Hotel, Stanley Kubrick, Camus, Charles Bukowski, Sylvia Plath, Sufjan Stevens, Johnny Flynn, The Beatles, Lennon, Bowie, Edgar Allen Poe, Anno Birkin, Baudelaire, Ted Hughes, Dylan, Nick Cave, Conceptual Art, Escapism, Dostoevsky, Avant-garde, Post-modernist works, Illumination, Dreams, Dusk, Waning Moons, Garage Music, Shoegaze, Nu-goth, Imagism, Håkan Hellström, Yann Tiersen, The Cramps, The Greusomes, Belle and Sebastian, Nirvana, Kurdt, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, Laura Marling, Yuck, Mogwai, Explosions in the Sky, Four Tet, Anthony Burgess, Sigur Ros, Sonic Youth, Pavement, Arcade Fire, OFWGKTA, Dry the River, George Orwell, Jools Holland, Twin Peaks, Alan Partridge, Father Ted, Blackbooks, Spaced, J.D. Salinger. "I was dropped from the moonbeam, and sailed on shooting stars". -

A.G. Murdock

I’m 19. I quite like my age. I always seem to be waiting for something in the distance, something calling me forward. I hope it’s good.
I live in Warrington, a northern town with a personality disorder. Sometimes I think I’m living in Twin Peaks but that would be too oridnary. I can be quite fickle, I’ve realised. I like writing that’s beautifully melancholic. I tend to laugh when I see other people laugh. I can be quite naive and surreal yet quite serious and depressing too. I like dusty records, and recording music- learning new methods in capturing it, that makes it sound all weird and distinctive. I aim to go into music production/engineering.
I wish I could be loquacious- less timid; clearly spoken maybe. I’m horribly boring when I’m sad, and I really dislike that part of myself.
I’m asexual pansexual if there’s such a thing.
I have borderline personality disorder, manic depression, and I’ve recently been told I have something called first episode psychosis. The latter one scares me. I also have countless anxiety disorders. My little brother has autism, and both my parents have depression. My mother’s is more manic I think. I’m pretty confused, and I keep detaching myself from people I really don’t want to detach myself from, but I think my jigsaw will fall into place one day.
I’d quite like to see a few certain people happy, people I believe should be happy, but I know that I’ll have to work out how to deal with myself first.. before I’m ready for that. I feel like i’m always changing, and I get really anxious at what I think people’s first impressions of me will be. I sing, barely, and I write songs which is something I adore madly, though in this economy I think I’ll end up working as a grave digger.
I like people who are sort of eccentric, goofy and true to themselves. That is all it takes for me to really like someone. I think I can get too attached to sadness, people with extraordinary hearts. I’m quite scared about that.
I don’t quite know how to end this, so it’s going to be with some Joy Division quote.

‘…And I picked on the whims of a thousand or more
Still pursuing the path that’s been buried for years
All the dead wood from jungles and cities on fire
Can’t replace or relate, can’t release or repair
Take my hand and I’ll show you what was and will be…’

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